Off Wits

I receive a lot of adult humors in my mailbox. I could not share them with you on this blog for obvious reasons - "Adults don't like someone making fun of them". But this one isn't an adult humor, this is a saga of a boy's wit where he comes over the challenges of really terrible riddles with his presence of mind.

A first-grade teacher, Ms Neelam (Age 28) was having trouble with one of
her students the teacher asked,"Boy. what is your problem?"
Boy answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade.My sister is in the
third-grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third-grade
too!"
Ms Neelam had enough. She took Boy. to the principal's office. While Boy.
waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the
situation was. The principal told Ms Neelam he would give the boy a test and if
he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade
and behave.She agreed. Boy. was brought in and the conditions were explained to
him and he agreed to take the test.
Principal: "What is 3 x 3?"
Boy.: "9".
Principal: "What is 6 x 6?"
Boy.: "36".
And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade
should know. The principal looks at Ms Neelam and tells her, "I think Boy can go
to the third-grade."
Ms Neelam says to the principal, "I have some of my own questions.
Can I ask him ?" The principal and Boy both agreed.
Ms Neelam asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two
of?
Boy., after a moment "Legs."
Ms Nee lam: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"
Boy.: "Pockets."
Ms Neelam: What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval,
delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?
Boy.: Coconut
Ms Neelam: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft And sticky? The
principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer,
Boy was taking charge.
Boy.: Bubblegum
Ms Neelam: What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a
dog does on three legs? The principal's eyes open really wide and before he
could stop the answer...
Boy.: Shake hands
Ms Neelam: Now I will ask some "Who am I" sort of questions, okay?
Boy.: Yep.
Ms Neelam: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I
get wet before you do.
Boy.: Tent
Ms Neelam: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The
best man always has me first.The Principal was looking restless, a bit tense and
took one large Patiala Vodka peg.
Boy.: Wedding Ring
Ms Neelam: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow
me, you feel good. Boy.: Nose
Ms Neelam: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a
quiver.
Boy.: Arrow
Ms Neelam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' that means lot of
heat and excitement? Boy.: Firetruck
Ms Neelam: What word starts with a 'F' and ends in 'K' & if u dont get
it u have to use ur hand.
Boy.: Fork
Ms Neelam: What is it that all men have one of it's longer on some men than
on others, the pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wife after they're
married?
Boy.: SURNAME
Ms Neelam: What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has lots of
veins, like pumping, & is responsible for making love ?
Boy.: HEART.
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher, "Send this
Boy to IIM Ahmedabad, I got the last ten questions wrong myself!"